Mirror

A while back, I was listening to a podcast of Between the Covers featuring the writer, Dani Shapiro. I actually don’t know that much about Dani Shapiro, I have not read any of her books, but I intend to. I loved the podcast. I got so much out of it.

In one segment, she talked about reading some of her old journals and how they made her feel about her younger self. I, also, have read back over some of my old journals, and it is a very interesting experience. At times, I was frustrated with myself. I could read the struggles and patterns that would lead me down the road to certain mistakes or life experiences, but on the other hand, I was struck with the recognition of my own personality and the fact that I recognized my own voice, even from an early age. Me at 14, 17, my 20s, 30s and so on, it was always me. There were different levels of maturity, naivete, cynicism, happiness and pain, confidence or self-doubt, but it was always me. It was actually a very good tool for helping me to have compassion for myself. It gave me the ability to stand outside of myself, to see myself objectively, but at the same time, I understood completely what that girl was going through.

It makes me wonder just how early on we develop our sense of who were are, whether we know it or not. This thought process is what drives my haiku for mirror.  

 

Reading old journals

Younger me is a mirror

of the me I know

Fancy Feast

Caturday haiku

Feed me seafood pate and

tell me I’m pretty

 

Breathwork and Baby Pines

This past year, a friend recruited me to be a part of an online meditation group led by a friend of hers who teaches yoga in Costa Rica. I’m not an expert yogi, but I do attend yoga classes from time to time and I always experience a sense of calm when I do yoga. Something about the stillness and the stretching wrings out my tension and gives me a sense of peace.

Recently Ashley, the instructor from Costa Rica, was in the US. She has ties to my hometown and stopped in to teach a few classes on breathwork at a local studio. I had never taken a class focused solely on breathwork, but I like to try new things so I attended one of the sessions. Before the class, Ashley asked me if I had an intention, something on which I wanted to focus during the class. I shrugged.

“There are a few uncertain changes going on at work,” I said.

“Well, that is something you can think about,” she answered.

When the class started, I didn’t focus on anything, at first, except for breathing. The idea of breathwork, as I understand it, is to breathe fully in a circular motion, from the diaphragm, through your chest and out of your mouth then back. We breathed in the air through our mouths and we exhaled out of our mouths. Ashley asked us to breath throughout our entire body. I imagined the air moving from my feet through my legs into my belly and my chest, then up into my head and out of my mouth. At times, I was distracted by the sounds of other people breathing around me, but I focused on the breath. I started to imagine the breath as a circle, traveling the length of my body then looping to go back around. Somewhere along the way, I started to think about other things, but not about work, and my thoughts took me to the heart of something. I started thinking about how most people play it safe with other people. We share enough of ourselves to be seen as friendly, but little enough to protect ourselves from being hurt. I know I do. This prompted me to start thinking about forgiveness and letting things go.

After the class, Ashley paired us with a partner and we talked about our experience. I was paired with a woman on a mat behind me. We sat cross-legged on our mats and looked at one another. She was older than me and a little weathered. Her silver hair was cut in a very hip style and she had two of the most alert, smiling, clear blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I told her about my thoughts.

“Wow,” she said, “that’s very similar to what I was working on.” And she shared some things about herself with me.

Before we left, Ashley suggested that it might be a good day to spend some time in nature since we were already in reflective moods. That worked well for me as I was already going for a walk.

I went to a local park, Hugh McRae Park, and walked for about 45 minutes. Hugh McRae is filled with established pine trees, but as I walked, I noticed that the park has planted new pines, as well. Several baby pines were nestled among the older pines. The scene of pines filled me with pleasure and I stopped for a while to look at them. Now, that I look back on it, I know why they made me happy. Not only were the pines a bright, happy green and quite pretty, but they were new little lives releasing oxygen back into the air. Breathing their own cycle like me. There was a sort of synchronicity to finding them right after my breathwork. Pretty cool.

 

 

 

 

Sunflower

It’s Father’s Day and I’m making my rounds. This morning I had breakfast and a visit with my step-father and this evening there is a cookout for my dad.

I discovered this sunflower in my mother’s garden while visiting my step-father this morning.

Sunflowers symbolize many things, among them happiness, good fortune and loyalty which seems a fitting tribute to the dads.

They are also symbols of spirituality and worship.

This sunflower served as my inspiration for the “bright” haiku challenge:

Face of a daisy

Bright golden-rayed worshipper

Standing in the light

 

Have a peaceful Sunday, all!

 

 

 

 

Blue Haiku

In my free time as

a girl I pondered which is

the prettiest, the

 

sky or water, both

are infinite and blue, their

boundaries blended

 

create deeper hues.

I cannot say. I remain

still and meditate

Beach bunny

Little beach bunny

steals attention as we stroll

towards the water

 

This little fellow lives behind some condos at my favorite access point to the beach. He’s obviously being fed and cared for. He doesn’t seem fearful as we walk by on our way to the beach. I’ve seen him several times now and always look for him on my way to the ocean.

 

 

Deep Breaths-Revelation

Yesterday, I got into a bit of a snit. I sat around the house too long, paralyzed with competing thoughts over what I should do with my day; then I felt remorse for not accomplishing anything. I also ate too much yesterday. I think I was trying to fix my inner agitation with food, as if it were some kind of hungry beast that could be pacified and would quiet down if I fed it. Finally, and I mean FINALLY- late in the afternoon- I left the house to run some errands.

 

This segued into a walk at the park. I had to push myself to do it. My belly felt full which is not conducive to exercise. I was like a snake who had fed on a rodent and couldn’t move, but I pressed on. As I pounded the trail, the fresh air and the music on my phone started to pound out my agitation and regret. I felt myself loosen up.

 

On the way home, I toyed with the idea of driving down to the beach. I took a route home that would carry me past the beach and as I approached the turn off, I felt my car going in that direction. I arrived just in time to see the sunset. Everything started to melt into the revelation that I always have, time and time again, when I am outside looking at God’s wonder.

The world is still moving, whether I am or not, and it is still beautiful. We can’t change the past, but as long as we are here, we can keep on going to meet tomorrow. So glad I found a way to remind myself of that.

 

 

New Orleans Streetcar

via Daily Prompt: Tender

It has been about 8 months since I visited New Orleans for the first time. One of my friends is a HUGE Keith Urban fan so we traveled to NOLA to attend a concert at the Smoothie King arena downtown.

The wonderful thing about going somewhere for the first time is that it is perfectly acceptable to be a shameless tourist. Besides the concert, we filled our weekend with all of the typical NOLA tourist activities. We took the streetcar to Bourbon Street  where I’m pretty sure I dined on the best shrimp jambalaya I will ever consume in my life, and to Cafe du Monde where I sampled the best beignets I will probably ever taste. We took a bus tour of the Garden District, which was beautiful, then to the 9th Ward where we saw houses and neighborhoods that were devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

All of these memories linger in my mind, and now with a base of experience, I have a better idea of what I want to explore further if I go back to New Orleans; but there is another memory from the streetcar that lingers, as well, and it is a simple one.

The streetcars intrigued me. Their charming trademark appearance of wooden seats and exposed light bulbs were distinctly New Orleans. For those who don’t know the mechanics of the streetcars, they run on electricity. They don’t travel quickly, and there are frequent stops. They offer a unique experience but also require some patience. There was a variety of people thrown together on the streetcars: tourists, people going to and from work and residents just running errands.

The first night we were in New Orleans, we took the streetcar to Bourbon St. That is a story in itself. We missed our stop and would not have known except that I started talking to a female passenger who informed me that if we were going to Bourbon St, we had to get off the streetcar quickly. I told the driver and she did stop for us…two blocks out from Bourbon St. She pointed to a stretch of dark road and said, “It’s two blocks that way. Just go straight and you will walk right into it”. We hesitantly got out of the car and stepped into a city that was strange to us then walked down the dark stretch of road to Bourbon St. It didn’t help my nerves when I looked back at the woman on the streetcar and noticed a look of concern on her face. But we made it there okay and it was a lesson learned. When we left, we took a taxi back to the hotel since it was so late.

As I said, there was a diverse group of passengers on the streetcar. I remember one time during our travels when the streetcar stopped for several minutes to pick up another passenger. I glanced out the window, curious to see who was boarding. An older man in a wheelchair sat on the curb. He held a large bottle of water, a cup and a small dog on his lap. I learned that the streetcars are equipped with platforms that can be lowered to the curb for people who use wheelchairs, but there is a process to lowering the platform and it takes a few minutes. I glanced around the car which was relatively full, and noticed that even though we were full and on a delay, no-one seemed impatient. Everyone took the pause in stride. I glanced back down at the man. He poured some water into his cup and shared it with the dog on his lap. For some reason, I was filled with a sense of tenderness. For the man, for the dog and even for the passengers who patiently waited for his arrival inside the car. Shortly thereafter, he wheeled onto the lowered platform and was raised up to join us.

All in all, it was a really enjoyable trip. I was reminded by a couple of people during the weekend to “be careful” as I explored the city as a tourist, but I was very fortunate. Most of the people I encountered were friendly and patient. Even helpful. And also, in case you are wondering, Keith Urban was great in concert! If you get a chance to see him, you should go.

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

 

 

Natty Kats

Dapper natty debonair

dandies, those cool kats

sure know how to dress

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

 

 

My brief adventures in Waxhaw, NC

This weekend I took a little road trip to visit some friends. My destination, Waxhaw NC, was not very distant, only 3 hours away. I didn’t explore any hiking trails like I often do or attend a writer’s conference. It was a straight up indulgent, sit-by-the pool and eat trip. Oh, and there was a ballet recital. A friend of mine teaches ballet and I attended a recital for her students who performed a little Spanish piece called “Carmen”.

 

I didn’t think I would find anything to write about this weekend, and truthfully, I didn’t write anything on my computer or on paper during the trip, but I did write some things in my head. The ballet recital reminded me of a couple of things I’m writing for children, one story about a little girl who is learning to pick out her clothes and another about a little girl with crazy hair. After the recital, I conversed with my friend’s mother, who is also a writer, about an idea I have about two boys exploring at the beach.

 

One morning, I woke up early to find the rest of the house still sleeping. I crept into the kitchen to find that someone had gotten up earlier, filled the Keurig with water then gone back to bed. Best hosts ever, I thought as I made a cup of coffee. I crept outside to sit at the table on their back porch. The air was already hot and humid and the sun was beating down on one side of the table. I picked a seat that was still shaded and wondered how long it would take for the sun to catch up with me. As I sat in the serenity of their backyard among the trees, beautiful green lawn and singing birds, this blog started to form in my mind. Sometimes, in order to write or be productive at anything, you have to relax and take a deep breath. Everyone is different, but for me, creativity flows when I have time to sit back and gain perspective.

 

The sweet spot of shade and solitude didn’t last very long. People began to rise and soon I was joined on the porch by others with their own cups of coffee. The sun crawled across the table to join us and the quiet morning eased into a happy, social spring afternoon. Eventually, we changed into bathing suits and headed for the pool. I had an opportunity to drive a golf cart to the pool which was a BLAST.

 

“I’m retiring to a golf community, “I announced. “Even though I don’t play golf…I just want to drive the cart”.  

Truthfully, I probably won’t have the money to retire to such a community. But that’s ok. It was still a lot of fun driving the cart 🙂

 

I passed a few interesting places when I was in Waxhaw. It looks like they have a small but very quaint downtown area, and I learned that Waxhaw is a major equestrian community. There are horses and rolling hills everywhere. So, who knows, I may go back and explore these things later on. And then I guess that experience will be its own blog.

 

Have a great day all!