Yesterday, I got into a bit of a snit. I sat around the house too long, paralyzed with competing thoughts over what I should do with my day; then I felt remorse for not accomplishing anything. I also ate too much yesterday. I think I was trying to fix my inner agitation with food, as if it were some kind of hungry beast that could be pacified and would quiet down if I fed it. Finally, and I mean FINALLY- late in the afternoon- I left the house to run some errands.
This segued into a walk at the park. I had to push myself to do it. My belly felt full which is not conducive to exercise. I was like a snake who had fed on a rodent and couldn’t move, but I pressed on. As I pounded the trail, the fresh air and the music on my phone started to pound out my agitation and regret. I felt myself loosen up.
On the way home, I toyed with the idea of driving down to the beach. I took a route home that would carry me past the beach and as I approached the turn off, I felt my car going in that direction. I arrived just in time to see the sunset. Everything started to melt into the revelation that I always have, time and time again, when I am outside looking at God’s wonder.
The world is still moving, whether I am or not, and it is still beautiful. We can’t change the past, but as long as we are here, we can keep on going to meet tomorrow. So glad I found a way to remind myself of that.